Toning Exercise #1

I thought it would be a cool idea to post a weekly toning exercise that I plan to do that week! If you would like to join with me, please feel free. We can keep each other accountable by leaving a simple comment below or on my social media! Let’s do it!

My fitness goal for the week:

Elliptical for 25 minutes (4x this week)

Walk our pups for 20-30 minutes (3x this week)

Some form of toning exercise (arm, butt, core, legs, back, etc.) for 20-25 minutes (5x this week)

I would love to work out all 7 days, but my realistic goal will be set for at least 5 days!

This week’s main toning exercise is focused on the core and arms! 

ce605384f72e6d2b_Arms-and-Core-Workout.jpg

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Let’s Get Physical

1b2b7ce8661c0e9fb1d4c73a018d2e8dWell, it is time to get real with myself…again and to remain in the realness FOREVER. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I either care a whole lot ALL OF THE TIME or I just get through the day with the little bit of motivation I’ve got and whatever happens, happens. Well, for the sake of the longevity of my life, I truly need to find my motivation and drive to always be in a healthy mindset. If I don’t, who knows what kind of health risks I am looking at. So I am here hoping YOU will help me get there and then hold onto it forever. In fact, if you wanted, we could keep each other accountable. Living this healthy lifestyle is better in big groups, don’t ya think?

Let me give you some further background on my wonderful weight loss roller coaster (there are many…). Before this, I had lost about 40 lbs before my husband and I married in 2013. It took me two years; two very long years, to get down to that weight, to get some form of a definition in my stomach and most importantly, to have normal fit-destination-700_0cholesterol levels. I was proud of who I was and what I was doing. I always felt happy, truly healthy, and I rarely questioned the girl in the mirror. It was a nice change of pace especially since I spent years upon years despising who I was both physically and internally.

To get to that point of happiness, I used to go to the gym every day after work and even on the weekends at times. I would aim for two hours every time I was at the gym or a combination of working out at the gym and home. I ate well pretty much every day. Finding new and interesting ways of eating a smoothie or healthy meals/snacks. I kept track of my food and water intake and I was Health-blue-e1429679140877-1013x567in bed at a reasonable time in order to get eight hours of sleep. I was the textbook of healthy and I actually enjoyed it. Now, I’m not going to lie and say I never skipped a day at the gym or ate pizza, because I just don’t lie. It was a rarity, but I did allow a break in my week. I learned you can’t deprive your body of the “bad” food because it may cause you to have a rapid downward spiral and revert back to your old ways in a heartbeat anyway. It is all about portion size and self control; both of which are key, in my opinion.

I lost that perspective after about a year and a half of marriage when our family started to experience severe health issues (or worsened health issues), which affected us more than we’d realized it would. I started to care less about myself and more about the people around me and what they were going through. Meaning my healthy lifestyle pretty much went to the back burner which is okay because that was more important at the time. I just should have tried to balance out work-life-balancemy life a lot better instead of just dropping it altogether because my health is just as important as everyone else’s. I think sometimes people forget about the importance of their mental and physical health during busy times in their lives which is normal but it is important that we are able to have a good balance of helping others and ourselves.

That eventually turned into what I am today, which isn’t so bad, but I’m not where I used to be. I want to love working out and eating weird healthy recipes again. These are now my minor goals to reach my bigger goals. I have different motives this time ahead, of course. Before, it was for our wedding and to lower my cholesterol. This time, it is to just be healthy and to feel healthy (and to hopefully have healthy children someday). I want to look into the mirror and admire the woman I see and not cringe at the person looking back at me. I want to feel like I am actually in control of my life and the outcome of my life. In order to do that, I need to find my balance, my motivation, and my want again.

I wasn’t able to do a starting weight since the battery in my ThinkstockPhotos-518201195scale broke (currently ordering a new one…), however a few months back, I was closer to my weight BEFORE I lost 40 lbs. Yikes. This week, I worked out four times. We’ve walked our pups for about 30 minutes for three days this week and then I would jump right onto the elliptical right after. My goal for this week is to work out today and the ENTIRE week. With a mixture of taking our dogs for a walk, working out on the elliptical, hand weights, and entire body work outs, I think I will be able to work up that lack of motivation. It will just take time; a little each day. Some times I have to remind myself that it won’t happen over night. Patience is a virtue that I am trying to obtain.

I’ve been eating pretty well lately as well. I’ve gotten hooked on trail mix which isn’t amazingly hehealthy-living-webalthy but it’s not, not healthy… I’ve chosen a healthy option at almost every single meal this week and added more veggies to my meals. I did food prep last Sunday and plan to do so this Sunday. It helped me pick the right foods for all my meals and my snacks. I had enough time in the mornings because I made my lunch ahead of time and it never gave me a moment of not knowing what to eat and resorting to an unhealthy option. It was nice to do that again and I actually am looking forward to doing it again tonight for the week! There is one thing I do need to work on which is less dairy intake. In some of my research, I’ve found that there may be a link to PCOS and being lactose intolerant. I believe it. Dairy tends to make me bloated and…unfavorable to the people around me… I’ll be cutting dairy out a lot more than I have been as another goal of mine!

Though, I’m aware of all of my changes and trying to make these changes, I feel like I am still lacking some major mojo. I feel exhausted more than usual which is saying a lot. I suppose it is a combination of normalimages fatigue and now working out so much more. I know my body will adjust but some days, I just wanted to sleep like the dead.

Regardless of fatigue or feeling like I may not be able to get through the day, I will give it my all to keep going. If I want the happy ending that I continuously am dreaming of and talking about, I will have to be actively doing something to be successful in that. If you feel you want your own success to play out as well, let me know. I would love to have accountability and encouragement, and together it may be easier to achieve!  🙂

Roller Coaster

Have you ever fought with your emotions? Had such conflicting emotions all at once? I like Roller Coasterto call this an emotional roller coaster. I’m sure you have experienced this. If you haven’t, what is your secret and are you a robot??? This post may come off wrong, but please know, my intentions are not meant to be that way.

As someone who is in her late twenties, trying to build a family with her pretty awesome husband of many, many years (of whom have been in each other’s lives since we were about 14-ish. Yeah, I realize that is quite a LONG time…) is struggling to become parents, it can wear you down. It can wear down your marriage as well, if you let it. It creates all of these crazy emotions all at once especially when you continuously are around your closest friends, family members and even high school acquaintances who may be getting married and are having babies. It is easy to get lost in a sea of anxiety, frustration, sadness, anger…jealousy.

I absolutely LOVE my family and friends. I absolutely love children. I love that my friends and family members are starting to have children and are experiencing this amazing moment(s) in their lives. So please do not get me wrong when I say that when I see your posts and picture of your announcements, I am automatically put on this emotional roller coaster. At one moment I happiness-02feel such excitement and happiness for you, and then within minutes, that roller coaster begins and I start to feel jealousy and sadness underneath. I know, it’s kind of messed up. I do try to quickly get out of that part of the roller coaster of emotions because I know if I stew in that for too long, I will become a bitter and negative human being. I quickly snap out of it, go back to happiness and excitement and push those negative feelings further down because my goal in life is not to be an angry and jealous person. I realized that just because things are moving as slow as molasses for us, doesn’t mean other people don’t deserve to have this kind of happiness and beautiful experience in their lives, and we should always support and be happy for those we care for no matter what we are personally experiencing.

I will always LOVE being the cool aunt or the cool friend or cousin your kid can count onBwQiNIzIUAASKEw or ask for advice or to just completely spoil them rotten. I do having that role in life, but it won’t stop me from experiencing like 6 different emotions at once when those announcements pop up on Facebook while I am still sitting here trying not to lose hope in creating my own family. At some point, I want to be more than the cool aunt.

When you are told it may be harder for you to do what feels like such a basic human thing to do while the people around you are able to just complete that without any issues, or more than once, or even when they are not even trying, questions start to take over in your brain like why, how, what the… You get the idea.

The wim-acting-like-im-ok-please-dont-interupt-my-performance-funny-quote-600x588orst is when people who really should not be a mother or father are granted that gift and you have to sit back and watch it all unfold in front of your eyes while battling those questions. It’s probably way worse than when you see the people who are going to be great parents because you wonder what God is thinking or what he/she’s plan is. How can these atrociou
s individuals become parents all the while people who have hearts full of love, are kind and decent (not to toot our own horns…) are struggling to be just that? While we may not have millions of dollars, we know we’d provide a safe, happy, and an incredibly loving home without judgement of that child all while providing for them in all sorts of ways. How is that fair? How is that godly?

These questions continuously play over and over in my head. That is w35382-God-Has-A-Planhy I try to cling onto the “everything happens for a reason” motto because I do truly believe that and really, I have to believe in that for the sake of my sanity. There has to be a bigger plan and reason for situations like that to occur even if we may not know what that plan is right this second. When you least expect it, I think that God will eventually show us.

Even though this is a battle I fight about internally, I will never let myself become a bitter and completely negative person especially about something like creating a life to bring into this weird world we live in. If you think about, it is pretty cool. How science has made our bodies the way they are in order to be a temporary home for an entire hu03a61f3c89f2194f8010aed2a4ab3c17man being while being able to feed them, take care of them and then eventually to give birth to them so they can grow up to experience the same thing (if that is what they chose to do in their lives). How can I be a negative person towards anyone who has that ability? It’s probably the closest thing in the world to being a superhero. 😛

You will never see me on my emotional roller coaster when you are in your happiest moment because I will never show it to you (you may know I am experiencing it now that I created this post…but I’ll just pretend you did not in fact read this). I will always be happy for you regardless. Anyone in my shoes will understand this emotional overload nightmare. I hope that the people who are experiencing this kind of roller coaster know that though we are entitled to feel those combative feelings, however you don’t have to let this become who you are. I would think that you wouldn’t want to live your life overshadowed by this kind of dark cloud. Plus if you think about it, if we try to keep ourselves in the more positive and bright light, it will keep us from being completely stressed out, crazy people and that may be the difference you need to finally becoming a parent!oze2631-300x193

Thank You!

When I first started this blog, I mainly did it for myself. I thought of this blog as a place I could go to sit down and just throw my inner most personal feelings, fears, thoughts, just anythingclipart-hearts-two-hearts-clipart and everything at. I figured if I was able to get it off my chest and do some research, it would give me some peace which would lead me to a more stress-free life to conceive a child. I started to think that maybe it may bring me closer to people who are feeling the same conflicts as I am which could bring me even more peace, but I figured if it helped someone in the process (besides myself) then that alone would be worth putting myself under the spotlight.

I just never thought it would touch or matter to as many people as it did when I finally decided to share my blog with my closest friends, family and even acquaintances on Facebook. I was just blown away by the support and the love that people showed me, us. I am still getting private messages about how people are learning so much from reading my blog and how much they didn’t know prior to this. I have also received the messages of the women who have experienced similar situations as I have or who are going through the crazy train that is PCOS. They have expressed their own devastating experiences. Even if I am terrible at giving advice or not able to properly form appropriate responses to their trust in telling me, I want it known that it hit me in my heart and I truly am grateful for your confidence in telling me about their heartaches. I am here, always, if you ever need to vent, I will lend my ear.

I am deeply grateful that people (and not just woman) have read and will continue to read my blog. It means a lot to me that I was able to open the door for conversation!  You guys made my fear of sharing this blog to the world just disappear and I do not regret opening this Pandora’s Box at all.

So, Thank You! 🙂thank-you-1400x800-c-default

Update

Today I received a call from my doctor’s office that my husband’s sperm analysis came back…ABSOLUTELY NORMAL! Yay! I won’t lie, I had mixed emotions when hearing this news. I started to tear up a bimale_infertility_ivf_michigan_semen_analysis.jpgt. Not because he was healthy. I am very excited and thankful that he is healthy, however the chances of it being my body’s issue to conceive goes up enormously. Which I already knew could be a gigantic possibility from the start, but to have a slight confirmation is nerve-wracking to say the least.

I just stopped this month’s 10 day dose of Provera which is to bring forth my menstrual cycle. The nurse wants me to take a pregnancy test if I have not yet received it even though it could take up two weeks for me to get my period. It is better to be safe than sorry! I will do that and if it is negative, wait for my period,  and then make an appointment with my doctor’s office to continue the infertility testing for me this time. IVF-is-still-an-option-in-many-locations

Of course, this will be costly since infertility treatments are not covered by insurance (don’t even get me started on this! This is an entire new post!!).
So treatments/testing will take a very long time for us since we will have to build up our savings in between each testing we have done. Infertility testing is extremely expensive especially without insurance (I know…I’m not even going there…).

Well as time moves on, and as testing and results come in, I will always submit an update. It has made this journey tolerable to have a place to vent to and not get a staggering comment back or a hesitant and unwanted piece of advice.

 

The Next Steps

My last appointment with my OB/GYN was a regular check up to see how my body was handling the medications I am currently on.  I am on two of them right now other than my vitamins. One is called Metformin. Metformin is a newer method of treating ovulation issues in women with PCOS as well as an oral drug to help control diabetes. Clomid is an oral medication that can be used to stimulate ovulation. Usually the two are used together to increase ovulation. I am not on Clomid just yet, but I dMenstrual-circleo assume that’ll be in my near future.

The other medication I am on helps regulate my menstrual cycle. This medication is called Provera. As you may or may not know, without birth control or a medication like Provera, women with PCOS can experience an irregular menstrual cycle which then in turn can cause tracking their ovulation time frame very difficult. And that should be obvious as to why that is an issue to conceive a child.

At that same appointment, my doctor decided it would be a good idea to test both myself and my husband to make sure our reproductive systems were working the way they should be. My husband was to get a sperm analysis done (which has been completedovariancycle and we are currently waiting on the test results…) and once we know his results and depending on what the results are, I will then continue to get my own testing completed. There are plenty of tests they can do such as checking my ovaries, my eggs and everything else that is important to conceive and possibly house a healthy and fertilized egg.

In the summer, I had a different appointment where I got an ultrasound to check on my ovaries for any cysts and that is where they found one on the right side. One sounds bad, but it isn’t as bad as it could be, trust me. Even with that one cyst, she said I looked very healthy. However obviously there is something causing an issue for us to conceive, and maybe it isn’t medically either of us, maybe it’s stress related or a whole other issue we just haven’t found out yet.

All I know is we are eagerly awaiting my husband’s test results and I look forward to finding out my own results soon after. It will wrack me with a mixture of emotions; anxiety, curiosity, fear… But I know in the end, it will be a good thing even if it means confirming our worst nightmare. PCOS-labeled-web

I hope you enjoy the wonderful diagrams, maybe they will help you understand more about a normal ovary vs. a poly one.

500 Miles 

When it comes down to it, I believe stress is a major aide in our crazy PCOS symptoms (or for everyone really). Such as major changes in life. Like a draChange ahead warning signstic move 500 miles away from everything and everyone I knew so well for 25 years. Yep.

We moved to rural North Carolina two years ago which was around the same time as when I first took myself off birth control. It was for a devastating moment  for us in our family. We had lost my husband’s Grandmother and great Aunt back to back. They both had a major role in raising him from a very young age. We decided it would be good for him and myself to move down to NC to spend more time with his family. Other factors played into our big decision, but that was a pretty big factor.

Though it was supposed to be a good positive-life-changechange for a better life, it was still a major change to my every day, typical, routine of a life and suddenly I didn’t have that routine any more. I thrive on routine and structure. (Yes, I know, that’s boring…) I did not have the same people, experiences, or environments to keep me grounded.

To clarify, I do not hate living in NC 100%. Some days are better than others, I will admit. I do enjoy the new experiences, good and bad, that have shaped me as an adult while living here. Such as, how it has brought us our beautiful first home, our adorable and crazy dog-babies, challenged and strengthened our marriage and the motivation to better myself by starting online classes. We have strengthened our relationships with our family members and realized who we can trust to be in our lives for a very long time. These are all joyful things.

However, there are a few major down sides. I belong to a large family who is usually pretty close-knit (plus being a total Mama’s girl) and having such close friends (for what feels like many decades) usually around every weekend, it made me grow lonely and sad when I did not have them around all of the time. To top it off, my husband works on  the weekends so I am by myself with just our dogs when I am not at work. Can you see my dilemma with this now?

I am still finding my footing here, socially. It doesn’t help that I work with about five people and all of them are much older than I am (which would be fine if we had things in common). Also, like I said, we live in a pretty rural area. We have neighbors, thank God! But same issues apply here.

I don’t go to church. I do not have a gym membership any more, and I do not have children so I cannot easily make mommy friends. I have tried to get connected via social media, but there aren’t many groups in this direct area. I would have to travel an hour or so to joMental-Healthin any social groups.

Being alone ALL of the time, away from things that feel so normal is what adds to my anxiety and depression at times. It gets me down, frustration builds, anger is afoot and sadness is shortly to follow, however I have grown to realize a few things about myself during this time. Being alone is rewarding at times as well. I really do believe that. I am constantly trying new things at home with my art, writing, baking, online classes, and keeping in touch with my family and friends in Charlotte and PA. It makes phone calls, text messages, video chats, and especially visits that much more special. I have also grown to look at myself and my life more positively. I won’t lie; it is a struggle between being positive and being a total negative person to myself. As long as I try to see the light in everything that is really all that matters.

My point here is that change can be good for people and sometimes it can drag you down. I am at the stage of trying to use this enormous change to lift myself back up and make it impact my life positively instead honing in on the negatives. If I do not do that, I feel I will only hurt myself more in the end. Physical health is important. Mental health is just as important. Without the combination of both, set backs are bound to happen.

mental_vs_physical_copy

Silent Killer

PCOS. What is it? How does it affect your life? Why does it royally suck?

If you’re wondering all of this, I still am too. Like I mentioned in my first post, PCOS is “a hormonal disorder causing enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges”. PCOS is known as the “silent killer” due to its varying symptoms, how differently it can affect a woman’s body, and the fact that there isn’t just one test we can take to determine if we have it or not. It can cause insulin resistance, type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and heart disease. The only good things are that it is manageable and that early detection is said to help tremendously ihqdefaultn cases.

PCOS can affect a woman both physically and mentally. There are many different physical symptoms that PCOS can cause such as hair loss, sweating, memory loss, unwanted hair growth, mid section fat gain/obesity (where it forms to look like a pregnant belly because you know, this condition is sadistic. And by the way, check), extreme acne breakouts (check), fatigue (check), sleep problems (on occasion, but check), mood changes (ha! ask my husband…check…), headaches (only as I have gotten older, check), pelvic pain (again, as I age, check), and the most important and most terrifying: infertility (apparently and hopefully only for now, check…). The mental symptoms can cause anxiety, depression and eating disorders (check, check, and only if you count the occasional body loathing…).

The version of PCOS I deal with now on a daily basis seems to affect me much differently as to when I was first diagnosed at fifteen. In my unprofessional opinion, this can be due to no longer being a prepubescent, no longer being on birth control, a95f992cd0e7b64b316f09d66fb24cfb7.jpgnd/or weight gain. Prior to being off birth control, I had these symptoms and I had anxiety, depression and body issues, however it was possible for me to tame my feelings (especially once I was able to move out to our own place). Now being off of birth control, I just feel like my emotions have hit an all time high and I am constantly trying to keep myself anchored to the ground. Just ask my husband about that. 🙂 I cry. At everything. All of the time. Happy. Sad. Frustrated. Angry. Anxious. Because something is so cute and I just cannot handle it. Or I decide to scream instead. When I am upset. When something goes completely wrong all at once. When the world seems to be spiraling out and going crazy. When my boss does or says something contradicting. Or when I just don’t want to be in this body any more. When my mood flips into a dark place like that, I get frustrated and then it depresses me.

I do try to control it for my sake, the sake of my husband, and the sake of our marriage. Thankfully, he is very understanding to my situation so normally he can let it just roll off his back. I do struggle with this at times though. Should he just let it roll off his back? Should he have to deal with this craziness? Do I want to be this person? Do I want to have my body conflicting with itself? Do I want to burden my loved ones because my body can’t control itself and be normal? No. Of course not. Definitely not. That is why we have to find a positive outlet to guide our minds into a safe and healthy direction of calm and peace. I truly believe that a good mixture of exercise, healthy eating, meditation, medication, some socialization and the love from a very understanding and caring loved one can guide you in the right direction. It can help simmer those worries and inner conflicts.

As of lately, I have hit a MAJOR slump in my fit lifestyle which in turn, I believe, has made my wacky emotions get…wackier. No matter what I do or how hard I try to cut out sugar, walk every day, pick up a weight, eat more veggies, I seem to do really well and then I plummet. On one side, I am in this lazy slump that doesn’t want to do anything or even want to care and then on the other side, as I become more aware of my condition it has made me fearful for my life and then I realize I HAVE TO start taking things seriously again.

This brings me to the deal my husband and I have.  We bought an elliptical this weekend. (It comes Thursday! 🙂 ) I stop buying junk food to make him happy (I was getting to a good point of not buying crap and then he would throw in the occasional “Man, I sure do wish we had cookies” bit in the mix which broke me down to put cookies on the grocery list. And guess who would sneak in and eat some of those said cookies… 😦 ). Man, not any more! I will do nothing but eat, drink, sleep and breath healthy! My goaldownloads will be to pick up yoga and meditation again, work out for 20-45 minutes every.single.day and eat a modified low carb diet with fruits and a few healthy grains.

I know what I HAVE to do. I just need to ignore the PCOS influence of laziness and fatigue and get back on the horse. Got to keep telling myself that it’s for babies and to live a longer and happier life with the man that I love and our fur children. 🙂

We’ve got this! We HAVE to have this or else our lives are in great danger with so many scary diseases out there ready to take hold. PCOS can be a burden and ruin your life or it can be a life lesson to wake you up and motivate yourself to become a healthier and happier you. You can get all of the things you dream of, you just need to put the effort in to get it.

Doing a lot of research has actually helped me in getting motivated to become a healthier version of myself. Maybe if you are struggling too, it might be a good idea to sit down and research what may be going on with yourself. Now when I say that, I don’t mean go to some kind of sketchy medical site, self diagnose and automatically assume that you are dying. THAT is not healthy. What I mean is, go to a real doctor to get properly diagnosed and then learn about your condition further. It may bring you some deeper insight or understanding of what you are going through. Get in touch with other people who are going through similar situations. See how they deal with their issues in every day life. Or turn to a blog and write out your inner most feelings, fears and thoughts. Whatever it is, be sure to take it seriously and just do something to relax your mind so you can be the person you want to be without this condition.

My Dream v. My Reality

As long as I could remember all I’ve ever wanted in life was to be  a mother. Cliche? Maybe, but it’s what I wanted and still want very much so. If I was being truly honest with myself, I never really pictured the whole white picket fence with the husband, the dog and all that usually comes with that dream, but I did imagine a baby and the bond I had with it. I know it’s odd. Most little girls have their entire lives planned out. I just knew that I wanted to be the person my mother always was to me: my advocate, my superhero, my biggest supporter. I knew that one day I’d want to be those exact things to a smaller version of myself.

Of course, as I grew up, I realized I could always accomplish that dream if I modified it some and found the man I loved wholeheartedly and trusted with my life. Well, this is my story of how I found my soulmate (at a very young age, mind you), but have yet to receive that part of my dream. Our dream now. I guess that’s harsh to say. Being in our lives for as long as we have, we are lucky enough to still be infatuated with one another and have created a sweet and beautiful little fur-family in our adorable home which is a great start so far. However, we know one thing is still missing from our perfect little family: a human version of ourselves running a muck in this adorable home of ours.

The struggle begins with how I was first told I had PCOS at fifteen. What is PCOS? The real name is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.  A short brief: it is a hormonal disorder that can cause enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. The severity of the syndrome can vary. It can just be a bad case of acne, hair growth in unfortunate areas (or loss) to not being able to conceive at all to everything in between those two extremes. I’m somewhere in the middle (as of right now at least). I’m not a doctor, but I’m sure any case can change in any direction or so my research and being in my very interesting Facebook groups have suggested. Fortunately, a great lifestyle change can help; diet, exercise, and medication all can help aide in conceiving or keeping hormones in check.

I’ve started my journey of medications a few months ago (about 7 months), but we started baby making plans about two years ago by stopping my birth control. From the start, I knew it would take a bit of time to get pregnant since the pills had been in my system for a decade, but I didn’t realize it would take THIS long. We are still not pregnant. It is frustrating, maddening and sometimes heartbreaking. We try to keep our feelings and our journey to ourselves most of the time. Sometimes people don’t really understand this part of babies/pregnancy and can sometimes be insensitive or just sort of treat it like it’s a bad cold that’ll eventually go away. Until someone can lay in our bed and try to complete one of the most basic human tasks there is, but come out empty handed every single time, then I just don’t want to hear it.

Though, this is why I started this blog. I needed a place to rant and rave and spill my feelings out. I can tell my husband ANYTHING, but sometimes it’s nice to do it someplace else. He is going through it with me. He knows the struggle. He struggles too. He may not always show it, but I know he does. This entire journey of ours has made me want to put it out there and get it off my chest and if I happen to make one person who may be going through the same thing feel like their not alone than that’s an added bonus.

Welcome to our crazy world of trying to be a part of the breeders club, my weight loss journey part 24545934573, and just basic suggestions, ideas, and moments of AHHs and AHAs! Be sure to bring the wine, you may need it. 🙂