Well, it is time to get real with myself…again and to remain in the realness FOREVER. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I either care a whole lot ALL OF THE TIME or I just get through the day with the little bit of motivation I’ve got and whatever happens, happens. Well, for the sake of the longevity of my life, I truly need to find my motivation and drive to always be in a healthy mindset. If I don’t, who knows what kind of health risks I am looking at. So I am here hoping YOU will help me get there and then hold onto it forever. In fact, if you wanted, we could keep each other accountable. Living this healthy lifestyle is better in big groups, don’t ya think?
Let me give you some further background on my wonderful weight loss roller coaster (there are many…). Before this, I had lost about 40 lbs before my husband and I married in 2013. It took me two years; two very long years, to get down to that weight, to get some form of a definition in my stomach and most importantly, to have normal cholesterol levels. I was proud of who I was and what I was doing. I always felt happy, truly healthy, and I rarely questioned the girl in the mirror. It was a nice change of pace especially since I spent years upon years despising who I was both physically and internally.
To get to that point of happiness, I used to go to the gym every day after work and even on the weekends at times. I would aim for two hours every time I was at the gym or a combination of working out at the gym and home. I ate well pretty much every day. Finding new and interesting ways of eating a smoothie or healthy meals/snacks. I kept track of my food and water intake and I was in bed at a reasonable time in order to get eight hours of sleep. I was the textbook of healthy and I actually enjoyed it. Now, I’m not going to lie and say I never skipped a day at the gym or ate pizza, because I just don’t lie. It was a rarity, but I did allow a break in my week. I learned you can’t deprive your body of the “bad” food because it may cause you to have a rapid downward spiral and revert back to your old ways in a heartbeat anyway. It is all about portion size and self control; both of which are key, in my opinion.
I lost that perspective after about a year and a half of marriage when our family started to experience severe health issues (or worsened health issues), which affected us more than we’d realized it would. I started to care less about myself and more about the people around me and what they were going through. Meaning my healthy lifestyle pretty much went to the back burner which is okay because that was more important at the time. I just should have tried to balance out my life a lot better instead of just dropping it altogether because my health is just as important as everyone else’s. I think sometimes people forget about the importance of their mental and physical health during busy times in their lives which is normal but it is important that we are able to have a good balance of helping others and ourselves.
That eventually turned into what I am today, which isn’t so bad, but I’m not where I used to be. I want to love working out and eating weird healthy recipes again. These are now my minor goals to reach my bigger goals. I have different motives this time ahead, of course. Before, it was for our wedding and to lower my cholesterol. This time, it is to just be healthy and to feel healthy (and to hopefully have healthy children someday). I want to look into the mirror and admire the woman I see and not cringe at the person looking back at me. I want to feel like I am actually in control of my life and the outcome of my life. In order to do that, I need to find my balance, my motivation, and my want again.
I wasn’t able to do a starting weight since the battery in my scale broke (currently ordering a new one…), however a few months back, I was closer to my weight BEFORE I lost 40 lbs. Yikes. This week, I worked out four times. We’ve walked our pups for about 30 minutes for three days this week and then I would jump right onto the elliptical right after. My goal for this week is to work out today and the ENTIRE week. With a mixture of taking our dogs for a walk, working out on the elliptical, hand weights, and entire body work outs, I think I will be able to work up that lack of motivation. It will just take time; a little each day. Some times I have to remind myself that it won’t happen over night. Patience is a virtue that I am trying to obtain.
I’ve been eating pretty well lately as well. I’ve gotten hooked on trail mix which isn’t amazingly healthy but it’s not, not healthy… I’ve chosen a healthy option at almost every single meal this week and added more veggies to my meals. I did food prep last Sunday and plan to do so this Sunday. It helped me pick the right foods for all my meals and my snacks. I had enough time in the mornings because I made my lunch ahead of time and it never gave me a moment of not knowing what to eat and resorting to an unhealthy option. It was nice to do that again and I actually am looking forward to doing it again tonight for the week! There is one thing I do need to work on which is less dairy intake. In some of my research, I’ve found that there may be a link to PCOS and being lactose intolerant. I believe it. Dairy tends to make me bloated and…unfavorable to the people around me… I’ll be cutting dairy out a lot more than I have been as another goal of mine!
Though, I’m aware of all of my changes and trying to make these changes, I feel like I am still lacking some major mojo. I feel exhausted more than usual which is saying a lot. I suppose it is a combination of normal fatigue and now working out so much more. I know my body will adjust but some days, I just wanted to sleep like the dead.
Regardless of fatigue or feeling like I may not be able to get through the day, I will give it my all to keep going. If I want the happy ending that I continuously am dreaming of and talking about, I will have to be actively doing something to be successful in that. If you feel you want your own success to play out as well, let me know. I would love to have accountability and encouragement, and together it may be easier to achieve! 🙂