Exhaustion

Tiresome. Fatigue. Exhaustion. We’ve all felt it; been there. We’ve all felt like the world was too much to deal with when all our eyes wanted to do the most in the world was to shut tightly and to force your entire body to curl up into a tight ball and climb under your warm comforters and just pass out; be dead to the world and just not care what happened around you.

I drove to work half asleep today (like most days). I drove home half asleep today (like most days). I sat at my desk in my office looking at work emails, and I partially fell asleep. With my eyes open. Exhaustion. Struggle bus.

I know everyone experiences it. I know I am not a rare bird with this feeling. I get that, but I feel like I took like twenty sleeping pills and am trying to figure out how to complete the most basic things while 90% asleep. When I got home tonight, I had so much to do. Nathan had to literally (I mean LITERALLY!) pull me off the couch to force me to get the many tasks I had looming over my head completed.

Here’s the thing, PCOS can cause extreme fatigue. The fact that my hormones are out of wack and that PCOS can cause sleep issues makes for a very sleepy lady. I have zero to no motivation today. Actually, I’ve felt this way for the past four days. I, also, haven’t worked out since Thursday so maybe that could be another factor?

In the midst of typing this, I am working on some other stuff that needs to be completed tonight, but I am trying to run on this very limited fuel I have and maybe I will work out too after I get these few things done. I took off from work tomorrow to celebrate my belated birthday with Nathan so working out so late won’t be a total issue.

Let’s be real, who knows though. Lately, my sleeping patterns have been horrific. I have not slept through the night in a few months. I have no clue as to why, however I do know it truly needs to stop. It is starting to affect me greatly. It could be that our mattress is old or that I’ve been having major shoulder and back issues again. All I know is if yoga and working out don’t start working like I thought it would, I may have to find another way. I did end up buying a salt lamp with a birthday gift card I received. Salt lamps apparently help with sleeping. I also may invest in some particular plants that are said to help in sleeping too. If these don’t work, I may break down and have to go back to the doctor. Because I don’t go to enough of those… gr.

 

I typed this post months ago. I am still experiencing some major lack of sleep. It has started to affect me mentally. I’ve gone into this black hole of emotions (and not very good ones) that I had to go to my gyno to see what I could do. I’ve decided to go speak with a therapist, but have yet to get the courage to make an appointment. I have had her number for like a month now.

Is it weird that I am nervous, anxious, and truly exhausted thinking about having to tell a complete stranger about my inner most darkest secrets, anxieties, and get really emotional while doing it? I KNOW  it will make me feel better to do this, but doing it is a MAJOR life change. It’s a commitment that I don’t know if I am yet ready to get on board with. I have a follow up appointment in like two weeks with my gyno and I don’t want to be a total baby about it when I go because I already was when I originally went.

Considering the entire reason for even having to make this decision was my lack of sleep which lead to my head full of dark clouds and the chest full of anxiety and panic attacks (that I have never really had until my adulthood..), I should probably just suck it up and make that appointment. Anyone else ever feel this way?

By the way, I realize how horribly this entire post is written. I just don’t care enough… (too tired and all…).

 

 

 

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I May Have A Happy Update

Last week I went to the gyno for a check up on our situation. My left breast has been getting severely painful and at times, hurts to the touch. It usually happens right before my menstrual cycle begins. This used to never happen, however it has been an issue twice in a row now. 

Of course, as my mind wandered to the most darkest of places like the big C, my doctor informed me that it is actually a sign of ovulation!! She said I am most likely ovulating on my own now which is an obviously BIG deal! P.s. she said breast cancer doesn’t develope lumps that hurt, rather it just shows up and you’re not sure of it. Which is pretty crappy. 

As for my other issues going on, we have come up with a plan on those as well. Nothing minor and nothing we can’t help! I may blog about those issues soon to shine light on the minor annoyances PCOS can cause as well, however they are very personal topics and this is a fair warning as to what will come. 😛 

All in all, we are excited about the news of ovulation and continue to stay positive and healthy to conceive. 🙂

I’m BAAAACK! :)

480765c5480e85d8bd7e8c175b088a60I am alive! See? I know it has been quite some time since my last post. A lot has happened since I’ve last posted on my blog. I started doing the 21 Day Fix Extreme work outs and meal planning. I quit my seriously stressful job and started a new job as a full time nanny!

I know exactly what you are thinking. How is being a nanny not stressful? Honestly, it does have its moments, however at the non-profit I was at, there were just TOO MANY moments. I always came home exhausted both physically and definitely mentally. I actually went back and read a few drafted posts that I had saved from the last time I tried to submit a post and the last one I had was about exhaustion and how I felt like I was on sleeping pills the entire day, every day. That is how bad it was.

Now, don’t get me wrong; PCOS can cause some serious fatigue, but my job was making it way worse. The way I was taking care of myself (or not) was making it horrible as well. I had been contemplating this for months now. It was just time to make a positive change in my life to better myself. It’s a good thing I did because I noticed that with limited stress, a great work out regime, a healthy diet, and a healthy amount of sleep each night helped curb the kind of exhaustion PCOS can cause. I am finally actively trying to keep this up! Can I just say how much better I actually have been feeling lately? I am happier now than I have been in a while.

So…why did I choose to be a nanny? For as long as I could remember, I’ve always wanted to work with either children or animals. Two things I LOVE more than anything in this world. I decided I would be a full time nanny and do some online courses at the same time. The hours I work will give me ample time at home to not just help me get in my morning work out, but also help me to complete my course load. This is how I will become a certified Vet Tech and then work on getting a certification in being a Medical Administrative Assistant! 🙂

As for the 21 Day Fix Extreme, I am LOVING it! This is my second time doing it. I won’t lie, the first round was a bit frustrating. I used it as more of a test run, to see what I was getting myself into. I was still learning a lot of helpful tips and easy ways of getting through my meals without a hitch. I needed help figuring out how to food prep, meal plan, and make my meals without taking so long each time throughout the day. Once I finally felt comfortable and figured out how to do all of those things that seemed “hard” (but so weren’t), I was able to start round number 2 without any major issues. I am currently on week number 2. I feel so good! I have lost a lot of bloat, inches, and about 3 lbs already. I have to weigh in on Sunday for my new numbers, but I am not really all that worried about it. The work outs make me feel super strong, happy, and super sexy inside!

For now, I have a small goal of being able to fit into my jean shorts for the summer. I don’t even want to fit in the super small ones as long as they are not stretchy, leggings, yoga pants or sweats! I believe next summer I will be closer to my major goals. We are going on a family cruise for my mother’s 65th birthday and I plan to be able to fit in the summer clothes I currently have. Unless, of course, I am expecting…Then I will be happy with maternity bathing suits! 😛

Honestly, I am not sweating the numbers or anything like that right now. I am truly enjoying eating healthy foods and working out every day. Having that motivation and the want to make positive change in my life is really what I missed most and what truly matters most. I have not felt this way in YEARS. I am finally grasping the concept that I needed to have these sort of feelings back in my head to be able to live a healthy lifestyle and not so I can just look good in summer clothing.

I know I was MIA, but I hope to post more as time goes on. Thanks for being patient with me! 🙂

Lack Of Energy Doesn’t Mean Lack Of Fitness

Lately my weeks have been getting crazier and crazier. It delays my posting, so bearimages with me! Last week was only okay. I did wake up at 5:50 am for four days straight to work out which was a major accomplishment! If anyone truly knows me, they know I am not a morning person. I also did it again this morning! I think it will become an ongoing trend. I sometimes do not get home from work until 6, 6:30 and it really puts a cramp on working out. Plus, I’d like to take our dogs on a walk more often than we do and in doing a morning work out, I think I can do that for them! 🙂

As for my featured work out, I did about two days worth of it. I am trying, but not hard enough. I am about to order the 21 Day Fix from a friend who sells Beachheart shape of various fresh berries Body. I will not do the smoothies, but I plan to do the work out and use the colored cups to help my portion control. I find my portion control is a problem for myself. Though I usually choose the healthier options most of the time, it is still a problem of how much I should be eating for a snack, etc. When I was on Weight Watchers, I lost a lot of weight due to the portion control their program is based on.

Though last week was not as successful in my eyes, I still think I lost a few pounds, and if not pounds than definitely inches by losing bloat. I am not yet ready to wei187880282_XS.jpggh myself. A few more weeks of working out and trying to cut out any unnecessary sugars and carbs (which has been a real delight lately, let me tell you...) then I will weigh myself and track my process from there.

I got my period this morning. (yay…) so trying to stay motivated and energetic will prove difficult, but I am going to try to break through all of that. Yesterday, I felt odd (maybe partially due to being hormonal). It was Easter, and it did not feel like Easter. I was exhausted and I was in a pitiful mood. I tried to act like I wasn’t, but really, it felt good to get home after dinner. On top of my normal feelings I go through every day, I guess I also really missed my mom and my entire family. They had E
aster dinner in PA and definitely missed being home. However, I shutterstock_255660655-750x400.jpgam going to choose to be happy this week as much as possible! It is the only way to get through this bad cloud hanging over my head.

Well, for the featured work out for this week, I am going to be focused on the entire body, but especially the back. Check them out below and follow along! The more people I have interested, the more I want to keep going. If you choose to go along with me, leave a comment or a like! 🙂

 

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So Many Maybes

Have you ever gotten to the point of defeat? Start to question why you even attempted in the first place? Not only have I felt this way with my job (don’t even get me started there…), but I’ve been there with trying to become a mother as well.  b63c04acb24b146fb5439af435603d09All I’ve wanted was to bring an innocent person into this world so they could grow up to experience the good things this world has to offer (even if right now it feels like there isn’t much of it left…). It sounds simple enough to everyone. So you think it would be…

Wrong. After time and time again of trying to conceive and then getting my period every single month, it starts to form this burden…chip… or feeling of exhaustion. This eventually turns into a feeling of defeat; wanting to give up. Thbd048f00-6798-0132-b040-0e30b68214d8.gifen the thoughts of failure swarm in: Why even continue to try? Why set us up for the disappointment and failure we know we will receive in its place? If God doesn’t think we are fit to be parents then maybe we should stop trying. Why even try?

As much as I want this and have always wanted it, I some times want to just be a human being again who enjoys life and sex because it was fun, intimate and special. Not because it would supposedly give us our dream come true. Do you know how much pressure that puts on a person? How much it drains the fun out of it? travel-world-clouds-concept-24540428
Knowing how much we want this, may bring the next thought as a shock to you. Sometimes I just think “Let’s just forget about becoming parentsda865e845055187879ed152571f39bee altogether. We’ll just travel. Explore the world. Adopt another dog. And do this until the day we die.” I’ve always wanted to travel. Maybe this is the sign God is giving us to do just that. Lord knows, it would be easier to accomplish at this rate. Maybe that is the reason for being on this planet. Maybe to care, love and nurture a human being was not one of them, and maybe we should cut the stress out and just take the ride that life wants to really offer us instead.
Once that thought leaves though, I start to feel guilty. So much pressure. So much failure. So much disappointment. So much guilt. 
Do you ever feel that way? You keep trying to catch onto your dream to make it a reality, work really hard to make it happen? But then you just let it slip away because all of those negative feelings get a hold of you and start to weigh you down like a ton of bricks strapped to your ankles and all you want is to take a deep breath and just feel lighter and happier again? Maybe if I let go, I can feel light again. Maybe, for once, take the easy way? That’s what this journey has felt like to me a lot lately. Maybe I am not meant to be a mother. Maybe I was meant to take an easier route in life. Maybe I should give up and just enjoy our time together. Maybe that is what our life is meant to be. So many maybes.6171236f3b5ed08bf137b7e40b3db80b

MIA

Sorry for eclecticallymeaganhappybeing MIA lately. It has been a crazy busy week. I have been trying to become a happier version of myself by job searching. This has caused a lot of distraction from my blog, however not from taking care of myself! This past week, I ate pretty decently without overdoing it too much and I have cut down my diary as much as possible. A few hiccups here and there but I am only human, right?.

I worked out a few times, but always managed to stick to my featured workout except for Saturday since I was away for the entire day. No excuse though, I know, I should have spent the 3 minutes and completed my squats. Other than that, I’d say I had a successful-ish week. I am ready for a better one though!

I promise I will get back to my regular posts, but I’ve been struggling with how to word the focus of my next post… but be sure to stay tuned. My goal for this week’s post is to submit it by Tuesday or Wednesday!

This week I want to focus on doing more yoga (to help with my lack of sanity at work, haha) and more on my arms and back! I have the following as my featured workouts! Help me stay accountable and motivated! Join me in this workout this week! 🙂unnamed (1)unnamed

Featured Work Out Wk #2

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend! I am so NOT feeling like working out tonight, but I am pushing myself even if it is for 20 minutes. I had a rough day at work and a serious storm has started up, and all I really want to do is lay on the couch with my fur babies and my hubby! BUT healthy and fit bodies are not made as a couch potato 😛

7453efbee18e4ebc532c61ceaf24b592This week’s goals are as follows:

Monday: 20 minutes of elliptical and an attempt at the featured work out

Tuesday: 30 minutes of walking our pups (hopefully it’s a clear day!), 20 minutes of the elliptical, and the featured work out

Wednesday: 30m of walking, 25m of elliptical, featured work out.

Thursday: 30m of walking, 30m of elliptical, featured work out.

Friday and Saturday, I will be going to Charlotte therefore won’t have much time for cardio, but I plan to work in my featured work out somewhere for both days.

Sunday, I will be home so 20m elliptical, 25m yoga, and featured work out.

This week’s featured work out is all about the butt! The picture was a screenshot on my phone (sorry! haha) so it is thunnamede following:

Day 1: 10 Squats

Day 2: 15 Squats

Day 3: 20 Squats

Day 4: 25 Squats

Day 5: 30 Squats

Day 6: 35 Squats

Day 7: 40 Squats

Spotlight Post: PCOS: The Disorder No One Talks About

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Recently, I had the pleasure of being interviewed by an awesome blogger, writer, and a great friend of mine, Jay Van Houtte! He wrote an amazing post on PCOS and helped bring more awareness to this syndrome. Check it out, and check out the rest of his blog! He has a lot of knowledge on blogging, social media networking, and just is a great person to know! 🙂

via Social Path Media PCOS: The Disorder No One Talks About

Happy Saturday!

This was a great week for keeping myself going!I did have some complications onew-energy-bign Thursday due to my sciatic nerve bothering me tremendously. I opted out on working out. On Friday, I had to babysit after work so I did not get a chance to work out last night either. I am about to work out after this post though! That will bring positive-thinking-evokes-more-energy-quotes-sayings-picturesme to a total of five days! More than I have been doing lately. I think posting a featured work out for the week is working well for me (even if I am the only one doing it! 😛 )

I also have been eating and sleeping way better for the most part. I think I only had one bad night of sleep this week. Usually, my bad sleeping patterns are not limited to just one night. I will take it! bloated.jpg

I have also noticed that my stomach isn’t as bloated as usual. I have tried to cut diary out as much as possible this week. Not fully though. Baby steps. I bought unsweetened vanilla almond milk yesterday to replace our regular milk! I made a smoothie this morning for the first time in a while. I am felightbodyeling pretty content and not looking for a snack so that’s a plus. I just feel like I have a ton of energy. I’ve been moving all morning for the most part!

I have posted the work out down below again! In case, you guys change your mind! Well, let me know how you guys are feeling and doing! Are you working out? What are some of your work out tips or routines? I want to get more ideas. Enjoy this beautiful Saturday! 🙂

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Mid-Week Check In

I wanted to take some time to check in! So far this week, I worked out on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.

On Sundd1d1ef1df083894c88c74a7915132282ay, I just did my usual 30 minutes on the elliptical.

On Monday, I worked out on the elliptical for 25 minutes and then did the toning exercise that I included in my last post.

On Tuesday, I was feeling way more exhausted than Monday and so all we did was take the dogs out for a walk for about 30 minutes. I feel like Tuesdays make me sleepier than Mondays. Is it just me or what?? 9f6b9e563193008e62a9c3dc592ee993

Today, I am feeling way better right now, but I am motivated enough to do our 30 minute dog walk (if our Annabelle is feeling up to it after to her vet appt this morning), 25 minutes on the elliptical and completing the toning challenge!

I can already tell a difference in my stomach, not due to the challenge just yet since I just started it, but from just paying attention to my body’s needs, working out, and eating better food options! I feel less bloated and my pants have been a bit looser. I am looking forward to being able to wear my jeans again (I have been a strict legging and jegging wearer for a while now…)!

How are you guys holding up? I am interested in hearing from you all!

Happy toning! 🙂 toned-body