Friday was my HSG test. The horrible test where they insert dye through your vagina and take an x-ray of your uterus, fallopian tubes, etc. Let me just explain the horrifying experience this test caused.
So I had to go to the outpatient area of the hospital. I was to arrive a half hour ahead of my appointment time for pre-registration even though someone had called me to register AND pay my co-pay over the phone, but sure, I will arrive a half hour earlier than needed. I legitimately sat around for about 45 minutes with one woman who came out to have me fill out a few lines of a sheet and then not come back until a gentlemen who worked at the hospital came up to me and asked if I had been helped yet. I told him “Well, sorta. A woman came out to have me fill out something and then hadn’t come back. I have been waiting for about 20 minutes since then.” He said “Huh okay, let me go check for you.”
He was awesome. Honestly, everyone I interacted with from the moment I walked into the hospital and even during and after my test, seemed extra nice to me than usual. Almost like the hospital staff had a nice talking to from HR or something. Normally no one at that hospital is that nice but hey, I enjoyed it.
I finally got called back by a really sweet nurse. She had me undress from the waist down and put this super odd robe on top. I walked from the dressing room to this giant x-ray room. It was cold, bright, and uncomfortable. There was another nurse in there along with my Dr. Nothing was prepared when I walked into the room and awkwardly climbed on top of the large x-ray table. Thankfully, the sweet nurse had brought in some warm blankets for me while I sat there super awkwardly, naked from the waist down and making sure every inch of my nakedness was covered up with the blanket. Sense a theme of this yet? Awkward.
My Doctor came from behind this wall and he looked so annoyed at the staff, but welcomed me with a warm and comforting smile as he prepped for everything in front me. Now, up until this point, my nerves were going crazy. I wasn’t sure what to expect for this test, what the results could be, and honestly, he was a newer Doctor to me. I knew of him because he was a Doctor at the same office I had been going to and heard such great things about him, but I normally try to go to female doctors for most of my medical reasons especially a gynecologist. That was not an option for me this time. So here I am, half naked in a cold, medical room, with more than two people, about to experience this test I had nothing to expect with a new male Doctor all while they were prepping for the test in front me. It was already so uncomfortable and nothing was injected in my vagina at this point.
Finally, the Doctor had me scooch to the end of the table while I am awkwardly sitting over the bed with my legs dangling (I did this while I was watching them prep for everything). I finally got to the edge and laid down. This is the part, I will skip details on because it is just too much, but basically I had several instruments inserted about five times, stuff injected as I flinched a few times because everything was so awfully painful and irritating, just sitting there while we waited AN ENTIRELY LONG TIME for the radiologist to make her sweet time down to our room to let us know if everything was good or not. The dye and test itself felt like things were being pulled on and tugged from the inside. It made me feel like I had to pee so bad, but it was burning and irritating. I felt pressure from the inside and I dont know if this is from all the moving around I had to do to get in the right position for the test or the instruments or what, but it felt like a bit of pressure on the outside too. It was TERRIBLE.
After the extremely long wait was over, she finally arrived to our room to only say (and I shit you not…) “Oh, I hate this machine. This is the new one isn’t it? Yeah, I don’t know how to work this one…”
Seriously. I mean if this is your profession, you’d think YOU’D MAKE AN EFFORT TO FIGURE OUT THE NEW EQUIPMENT, YOU PSYCHO! But… I digress.
After another unnecessarily long wait, about 10 minutes and 3 people, they figured out how to turn on the machine and make it take a one second photo of my uterus. My Doctor was so pissed. He kept it together really well, but you could tell when Dr. Radiologist tried to attempt small talk during the wait of how to work the new machine, he was short with her and annoyed, but he did it with grace. I was impressed. I would have snapped.
Finally, after waiting, scooching up the table with all these instruments inserted and all (yeah, that was embarrassing), he took a look and said everything looked healthy and promising! Fallopian tubes, uterus is healthy, perfect shape. He felt like it was a really good sign. After the embarrassment, awkwardness, TEARS, and waiting around, I am just so grateful for such positively good news!
I had my follow up appointment today as well. I had to get a vaginal ultrasound…(I know, I am over it too already).
Today was still promising news, but not awesome news, but not terrible! I have some cysts on my right side (which I knew about), but a super healthy left side. I was able to find a picture of what it looks like (see below). They found some indication of healthy lining though and some signs of ovulation. The ovulation follicles he saw were only about a cm but it would be best to have about 2 cm or more (something of the sort, I am trying to remember all of the information and sometimes it is too much for me to remember). He wants us to still try, but he upped how much of the Letrizole dose I will be taking for the next time I get my period (assuming I do not get pregnant this time around).
In two weeks I am supposed to get my period, if I do not, I am to take a pregnancy test, and if it is positive, call the Doc for an ultrasound to confirm pregnancy. If it is negative, call the Doc to send over a RX of Provera (the drug that brings my period forward). Once I take my Provera and once I get my period, I take the new dose of Letrizole to force on ovulation, and the process repeats itself. If this goes on for 3 months without any results, I am to go in for a follow up appointment to see what our next steps are.
Pray, pray, pray like I will, PLEASE. I beg of you. I need the prayers. I appreciate them. I am grateful for them. We are reaching our limit of failures. We want some positive news. News that will turn into what we have been wanting and dreaming about for a very long, long time.
I also want to say THANK YOU to everyone who reaches out to me privately and share their stories or even to say that they are thinking of us and keeping us in their prayers. It makes the frustration and pain we go through each time a negative sign shows up on a pregnancy test a little easier to bare. I appreciate the fact that you are taking the time and exposing the emotional baggage you carry in your every day life to open up to me. I want you to know it helps me and I hope this blog and talking to me helps you. That is why I do it. Anyway, I am exhausted. I hope your night is filled with lots of happy dreams and restful sleep for a positively happy day tomorrow!